I'm a sucker for marketing...

[palsgraf_polka]

So today I'm driving the 3 hour ride home from my parents' house, and I get thirsty and also have to pee. So I pull over to this humongous gas station and go into the Stop N Rob shop and use the bathroom (very clean, I was happy to find) and got a Diet Coke and found I wanted something to munch on. So I went over to the chips and found:





I see these Doritos. I'm thinking "What the hell is this?" so I grab the package, read the front, and wonder what kind of weird flavor this is. I read the ingredient list, and nothing on it stands out as weird. So I decide to buy it so I can go online later and vote for the flavor.

I get in the car, get on the road, and open the chips. I sniff the bag's contents, and while it was a bit odd, not necessarily unpleasant. So I took a chip and crunched down.

OH MY GOD IT WAS SO NASTY! First I tasted pickles. Then some sort of mayonnaise. Then mustard. Then tomato. Then Beef! Oh my god it tastes like a McDonald's Cheeseburger! I thought I was going to vomit. It was so disgusting. I immediately closed the bag and put it on the floor of the car, drank about half my Diet Coke and then found some cinnamon gum to take the flavor out of my mouth. Then when I got home I took the picture above. As I'm typing this, the bag has slowly opened, and just now the stench hit me again. I think this puts Ginny's Dill Pickle chips to shame.

Anyway hyenas, I don't recommend these Doritos. I think I need some White Truck Pinot Grigio to drown out my memories of this afternoon.

Comments

[rattleback.livejournal.com]

The question, of course, is whether you can submit your own name (like: Corpse'n'Pickle, Hard-Boiled Ass, or Bushmeat) or just vote on something lame they came up with in a meeting. I assume it's the latter.

[palsgraf-polka.livejournal.com]

I did - I just went to the website and put in "Nastily Nauseating Cheeseburger" for my name choice.

[palsgraf-polka.livejournal.com]

And to top it all off, my White Truck Pinot Grigio had a bad cork and had turned.

:(

That was the only white I had. Oh well. I opened the bottle of Louis Jadot 2005 Beaujolais-Villages. It's very tasty.

[emt420.livejournal.com]

Someone at was probably running the corn line* while tripping on acid, and they didn't want to waste the chips.

* Snack shop talk; my brother worked for Troyers in PA before joining the Air Force.

[msginnyo.livejournal.com]

Vote online for the flavor. Call it "Shit Vomit" flavor!

[philosophyjeff.livejournal.com]

Hard-Boiled Ass got me laughin'.

[ethereal-dusk.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a Willy Wonka invention... kind of like the gum... I've had some experimental chips before where I just basically gagged, I know how you feel.

[janeygrrrl.livejournal.com]

My friend Kelly made me try those once and tell her what I thought it tasted like...
I was thinking something familiar but kinda yucky, until she asked "hotdogs?" Then thats ALL I could taste.
I'm all for hotdogs and cheeseburger, but not as flavoring for doritos...eeewww...