While I recognise that he still has his friends in Haiti, I'm surprised he wasn't lynched the minute he stepped off the plane.
In fact, if he makes it out of Haiti alive, I'll be surprised. There are Too Damn Many People out there that suffered under him and his daddy for him to be safe for any length of time.
OTOH, if a shitload of corporate dollars flows in to put him in charge and keep him there (using the reasoning of "He may be a son-of-a-bitch, but he's our son-of-a-bitch!"), that wouldn't surprise me much either.
Back of his head? You're too nice. As I said elsewhere: "I can't think of a single criminal punishment from anything since 1700 that would be good enough for him. I think you'd have to go back to Roman times to come up with something suitable."
Oh, I think hanging, drawing and quartering would work just peachy damn keen... especially the hanging and drawing. With the obligatory burning of the entrails before the eyes of the condemned. Being torn into four pieces by horses (in his case very weak, very small donkeys) would be a mercy after that.
Oh, did I not mention this is done in front of an audience? Yeah. You hang the person just until they start to turn blue (you noose 'em up on the ground, then lift them -- no drop'n'snap), then drop them to the ground. Do that a couple of times as a warm up.
Then strap them on a table, make a nice little incision, reach and and snip the small intestine from its connection to the stomach, attach to a rotisserie, and uncoil. Do it nice and slowly -- you aren't causing an undue amount of blood loss except from the incision. Vary the speed of the uncoiling, heck, even stop every now and then, then with a little TUG crank it back up. When you get to the end, snip that loose (watch out for fecal spillage!!) then take the rotisserie and show it to the vic.
Now slap it on a handily placed fire so the Man Of The Hour can watch his guts turn into chitlins before his very eyes. But quick! Before he can faint, hustle him out to where the 4 ill jackasses are waiting, hook each extremity to a jackass, then whip them up so they run off in their appropriate directions. Given they're small and not very strong, it should be a little bit before various bits come loose.
I think that could cover a good 6 to 8 hours of fun.
Your last line reminds me of a famous entry in Samuel Pepys' diary: "I went out to Charing Cross, to see Major-general Harrison hanged, drawn, and quartered; which was done there, he looking as cheerful as any man could do in that condition."
I'm actually quite a student of capital punishment, and know a surprisingly disgusting amount of things about many of the various ways. The winner IMHFO was an account I once read (and this time, my Google-fu fails me) of a Roman general and his wife who were condemned for treason or some such. They were first chucked into a cesspit, where passersby could shit on them or throw garbage at them for a few days. Then they were pulled out, and impaled on stakes up their arses. But slowly, so their weight would just slowly bring them down more and more onto the stakes. In the general's case, a splinter managed to separate part-way from the main stake and work its way out his wang. They were stuck there for a few days, until a passing legionary — who had served under that general and remembered him fondly — did them the honour of stabbing their hearts with his sword so they'd finally be done with it.
Yes, I am a sick fuck, and if Canada ever brings back the noose, I'm gonna volunteer. And if I ever get a chance to go back to Ottawa, I'm going to sniff around the National Archives and see if they've declassified any of the old hanging protocols. (It's been damn near 50 years since the last hangings in Canada, so one would hope that they'd be let loose by now.)
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In fact, if he makes it out of Haiti alive, I'll be surprised. There are Too Damn Many People out there that suffered under him and his daddy for him to be safe for any length of time.
OTOH, if a shitload of corporate dollars flows in to put him in charge and keep him there (using the reasoning of "He may be a son-of-a-bitch, but he's our son-of-a-bitch!"), that wouldn't surprise me much either.
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Then strap them on a table, make a nice little incision, reach and and snip the small intestine from its connection to the stomach, attach to a rotisserie, and uncoil. Do it nice and slowly -- you aren't causing an undue amount of blood loss except from the incision. Vary the speed of the uncoiling, heck, even stop every now and then, then with a little TUG crank it back up. When you get to the end, snip that loose (watch out for fecal spillage!!) then take the rotisserie and show it to the vic.
Now slap it on a handily placed fire so the Man Of The Hour can watch his guts turn into chitlins before his very eyes. But quick! Before he can faint, hustle him out to where the 4 ill jackasses are waiting, hook each extremity to a jackass, then whip them up so they run off in their appropriate directions. Given they're small and not very strong, it should be a little bit before various bits come loose.
I think that could cover a good 6 to 8 hours of fun.
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I'm actually quite a student of capital punishment, and know a surprisingly disgusting amount of things about many of the various ways. The winner IMHFO was an account I once read (and this time, my Google-fu fails me) of a Roman general and his wife who were condemned for treason or some such. They were first chucked into a cesspit, where passersby could shit on them or throw garbage at them for a few days. Then they were pulled out, and impaled on stakes up their arses. But slowly, so their weight would just slowly bring them down more and more onto the stakes. In the general's case, a splinter managed to separate part-way from the main stake and work its way out his wang. They were stuck there for a few days, until a passing legionary — who had served under that general and remembered him fondly — did them the honour of stabbing their hearts with his sword so they'd finally be done with it.
Yes, I am a sick fuck, and if Canada ever brings back the noose, I'm gonna volunteer. And if I ever get a chance to go back to Ottawa, I'm going to sniff around the National Archives and see if they've declassified any of the old hanging protocols. (It's been damn near 50 years since the last hangings in Canada, so one would hope that they'd be let loose by now.)
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I'm interested, but not dialed in.