Jul. 30th, 2007

palsgraf_polka: (SuperGore)
A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy
International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule
and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez
said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with
carrying "weapons of math instruction."

"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzalez said. "They desire solutions
by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search
of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer
to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a
common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3
sides to every triangle'."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If
God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction,
He would have given us more fingers and toes."

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